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I'm swimming all alone in a pool of darkness

and I feel like darkness is slowly pulling me under

I yell for help but no one is there to hear it

I begin to see the water at eye level

and I kick and flail

fighting to stay above the darkness

But the darkness won't let go of its hold on me

and I slowly begin to give in

to the feeling that lies below the water line

the waters starts to fill my lungs

the lungs that once held so much life

yet now they allow the murky water to replace that

I know that this path doesn't lead to happiness

But why doesn't someone grab my hand

pull me from darkness's grasp?

because no one knows I stand at the boundary

the boundary between light and dark

so I give in to the thing that holds me

All of the strength and all of the courage

that I once held in my heart

can't save me from the water

So I slowly slip below the world of conscientiousness

undetected by the occupants of that world

I don't want to fight anymore

I've given into darkness

I get a funny feeling,

it comes from deep inside.

I get all mad and angry,

wanting to go and hide.



My doctor calls it depression,

my dad says it's just me.

But the thoughts and feelings,

no one will ever be able to see.



Some say I'm psycho,

some say I'm just weird.

It's like I'm a different person,

and the old me just disappeared.



I get really edgy,

I want to commit suicide real bad.

Then I get a headache,

followed by feeling sad.



I wish I could get help,

I wish it would go away.

Maybe if I keep praying real hard,

it will some day.

Silence

Only tears

As I press the blade

Against my pale skin



Red

The blood flows

From the wounds

Echoing my inner pain



Satisfaction

As I feel the knife

Slicing into me

I only deserve pain



Anguish

As I realize what I've done

I feel accomplishment

As I gaze at the marks upon my skin



Stares

People are horrified

Don't understand why

Neither do I

She is lonely

Even though you can't tell

She is reaching out

For what, she doesn't know

She will continue to sit in silence

And hope that someone may stumble across

Her and all of her emptiness

But they only hope that they do it in time

Otherwise she will have drifted too far

And she may let go

Of whatever grasp of the world she has

As she slowly fades out of the lives of everyone

Nearly unnoticed.





I wrote this poem because someone close



to me made me see how empty i really was.

I sit here alone,

In this empty room,

Filled with people.



I fight the urge,

To let the rain,

Pour down from my eyes.



These starlit skies,

Become dull and worn...

The heavens refuse to cry.



I want to scream,

But whispers and silence,

Are all that is heard.



I tried so hard to look beautiful,

But am discarded as a piece of trash,

Thrown away...

Not worth keeping...



I should expect this kind of misery,

but time can heal everything,

Broken memories... Broken dreams...

Broken hearts can never be forgotten.



New dreams cannot grow,

Where so much hurt is here.



A heart cant feel,

When it is shattered...

Wings cant fly,

If they are crushed...



And so I live and stay here,

Im my misery

Awaiting the day...

I will die...

And forget

My Misery